Learning--and school--is "hard to do?" Tell these kids

"I can't."
Why is that?
"Because it's hard."
Oh. The assignment was difficult to do? The class is hard to learn? Did you try?
"Yes, but it's hard. It's not easy to do."
Excuse me. THIS is hard: learning to walk on blades. Learning to RUN on blades. That's "hard to do." Not learning to do something; no. 

You may not LIKE learning to do something, or it may be DIFFICULT, but it's not "hard to do." It does require effort, concentration, determination, persistence, and application of your thoughts.

But it's really probable that ANY class you take--or project that you need to complete--is a lot easier if you believe you can do it--rather than being a child and learning to walk on blades.
Or better yet: just to stand up on them. 
And THEN learning to walk. Just a few steps.
Just ask these kids. Or better yet--look at their faces.
They're so at ease that it's almost funny to imagine how they don't even think about what struggles they had to overcome. One girl is almost bored: "Will you please go ahead with the starting signal so we can get on with this race?!"

By the way, school is DIFFICULT at times. It may be a class or subject that requires you to THINK or apply yourself--and MAYBE there's no video game or computer to use to solve the concept of the subject. Just imagine that: "I can't use a computer? That's impossible!"
Oh? Really? You mean that's harder than learning to run--or walk--on blades?
Amazing.

By the way: a confession from me about "hard to do." 
I don't like cooking. I'm not comfortable in a kitchen.
I just want it DONE NOW!
But I have to someday soon learn to cook. For real. Not just throwing-it-in-a-frying-pan-with-a-lid-and-wait.
And my specialty is water.
Especially fried water. I PROMISE I can fry water better than most people. I'm a gourmet at preparing fried water! I can fry it faster than some of the most skilled cooks on TV. I mean COMPLETELY well-done-and-gone fried water. Not even a trace of it.
But I have to learn how to cook so I don't do it again.
I may have to--horrors!--take a cooking class.

By the way, let me assure you about something if you're 18 years or older: the toughest test you ever had to take is something you didn't even realize at the time. It's the most important, significant, virtually-demanded-by-social-institutions-test you ever knew.
And you more than likely passed it and never thought twice about it.
Your driver's license.
Imagine that: if you DON'T have one, you need an alternate form of identification. And that's not something that's easy to get. Nor do people understand why you may choose NOT to drive--even though it may have a reasonable answer. You don't HAVE to drive either. But people will expect you to get a license, even for identification purposes.
So that's the toughest test you ever took. Because without that license, you have to do a lot more to PROVE your identification. 
That's easy.

Running--or walking--on blades? 
That's hard to do.
Unless you're a kid who learned and doesn't think twice about it. And they didn't listen to "I can't" in their mind.

So don't tell ME the class--or the assignment--or WHATEVER--is "hard to do" if you didn't apply effort. Or else I'll have to find a way for the kids to write and tell you what they think about "hard to do." They can teach it better than I could.

The Pursuit of Happyness: Believing in your dreams and goals

A true story: The astounding yet true rags-to-riches saga of a homeless father who raised and cared for his son on the mean streets of San Francisco and went on to become a crown prince of Wall Street At the age of twenty, Milwaukee native Chris Gardner, just out of the Navy, arrived in San Francisco to pursue a promising career in medicine. Considered a prodigy in scientific research, he surprised everyone and himself by setting his sights on the competitive world of high finance. Yet no sooner had he landed an entry-level position at a prestigious firm than Gardner found himself caught in a web of incredibly challenging circumstances that left him as part of the city's working homeless and with a toddler son.

Motivated by the promise he made to himself as a fatherless child to never abandon his own children, the two spent almost a year moving among shelters, "HO-tels," soup lines, and even sleeping in the public restroom of a subway station. Never giving in to despair, Gardner made an astonishing transformation from being part of the city's invisible poor to being a powerful player in its financial district. More than a memoir of Gardner's financial success, this is the story of a man who breaks his own family's cycle of men abandoning their children. Mythic, triumphant, and unstintingly honest, The Pursuit of Happyness conjures heroes like Horatio Alger and Antwone Fisher, and appeals to the very essence of the American Dream. 

Chris Gardner later went on to manage the retirement plan for the late Nelson Mandela.

PS: the man who walks past Will Smith and his son at the end of the movie is Chris Gardner. That's one reason why Will Smith turns and looks back at him.

Keep Trying and Go for Gold

Believing in your goals can be a challenge--and the sweetest accomplishment when it finally comes true. This is part of a speech I took from the internet which my Chinese Speaking & Listening freshman classes were encouraged to do as an assignment. They were so afraid of not pronouncing words correctly and embarrassing themselves--and I told them they could already speak one of the world's hardest languages. Many found true courage and accomplishment in standing before their peers and sharing these thoughts. I hope you find the same in turn. Again, in a prior post, I admit to anyone: I once had terrible stage fright. And now I thoroughly enjoy public speaking. I kept trying--and found it worked!

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Three Feet From Gold: Keep Trying!

You have to have passion, talent, take action, associate with others, and keep your faith in your dreams. Chances are you have found something that works for you. I have realized that when people find what is important to them, then that’s where things move. If you are following someone else’s dream, chances are you will fall short. If you follow someone else’s passion, chances are it’s not yours, so you will give up. It’s the people that find their own success equation and do it all out: those are the people that truly live a life of purpose.

Three Feet from Gold

The story idea is about R. U. Darby, the gold miner who gave up three feet away from the largest strike in history. (It may or may not be true—but it’s the idea that counts here.) It reminded me that most people quit when things start getting tough. So I went on this mission to meet amazing people, and the very first person was a guy named Dave Liniger. People don’t know his name, but you might know his business. I asked Dave if he wanted to quit when he was getting started in real estate back in 1970, and he said every day.

He said it was so bad for two years that every phone call that came in was from a bill collector. The third year it got so bad he was sent to jail and called a fraud and a liar. I asked him what he did. He said he took his attitude from trying to prove everyone else wrong and do something more important just to prove he was right. He called the bill collectors back and told them he didn’t have all the money, but he had $50. He sent it to them with a promise that he wasn’t going to quit and asked them to not give up on him. He called every bill collector. In the fourth year someone believed in him and, bought the first business. Now that’s called RE/MAX Real Estate Corporation. It is the largest company in the U.S. now for the sale of homes and land.

 The moral is how many times have we or someone we know given up right before the miracle happens. I went and met with the president of NASCAR (National Association of Race Car Drivers) and also Mrs. Fields Cookies, and I asked them all how they avoided from keeping themselves from talking themselves out of the dream. One of the greatest wisdoms came from a guy name John Schwarz, who invented String Theory in physics. For 10 years, everyone said he was crazy and out of his mind, but he figured it out. When I asked him why he didn’t quit when everyone else thought he was crazy, he said it’s because he knew he was right. He said the secret of success is to never let another person talk you out of your dream.

 He said that if you want to be successful, successful people seek counsel and failures listen to opinions. Opinion is based on ignorance, lack of knowledge, and inexperience. Counsel is based on wisdom, knowledge, and mentorship. John Schwarz said if we would spend our daily lives only seeking counsel and ignoring people’s opinion, that’s the day your life would change.

The whole idea of writing this book was to help everyday people put themselves in this circumstance. When you’re flipping through the pages, you realize you are not alone. Each and every person we talk to, you see yourself in their circumstance, saying, if they did it, you can too.

Believe in yourself: you can accomplish anything!

I used motivational videos for my students because they were struggling to learn very complex financial courses in another language (English)--AND also learn Speaking, Listening, and Business English concepts. It was extremely difficult for them because the subjects (accounting, economics, linear algebra, finance) are not what they would have chosen for their careers. Their parents and a very tough high school exam are the deciding factors. So this is dedicated to the sophomores and freshmen at Jiangxi University in Nanchang, China, whom I taught and others who will follow, many of whom have already seen this. Keep going--and believe in yourself. You can succeed in your coursework and your plans.

The 4 Motivating Qualities of Life & Literature tell us Personal Values

Ever figure what motivates people?  It's easy--and it works with everyone you know (including loved ones)--and it's just as valid in literature. This is another example of why reading literature makes a difference: it teaches us values and ethics about people's choices, behaviors, and cause-and-effect:

Love, Money, Power, or Fear.  

Three of them are constants in our life (Primary), and one is not important (Secondary).  The trick is to know which are yours, and see how you match each other (in relationships), or just being aware of your personal "hot buttons." (For reference: I realize now that I'm definitely about Power (or Empowerment of myself and Others. I'm about Love: helping/sharing/giving to others to express my values and support them as a Global Family. And I'm surprised--but accept--that I have certain Fear issues of Abandonment and Security because I've had so much upheaval in my life, and a lot of it was from not understanding my own thinking processes with ADD and a learning disorder that I am still working to overcome.) Money? It's a game to me: an illusion. As the CEO said in "Margin Call", it's just paper with numbers and images on it so that we don't have to kill each other to get something to eat.

They each have a positive and negative reinforcement as motivators in our lives, depending on which ones are Primaries.  Again, the rule is that three of four are Primaries:  these are the factors which motivate and inspire each of us, and the remaining one (Secondary) are not of consideration nor consequence when it comes to decision-making processes.  Our relationships that succeed or fail, whether personal or professional, can depend heavily on how well matched we are with a Significant Other who mirrors back a similar Primary.

 Love as a Positive Primary brings someone a warm feeling of appreciation for living things, human or otherwise; they are very attuned to the flow of energy that sustains all that exists.  Some of these people are healers or work with support systems that enhance or encourage people, animals, plants, or other creatures to be maintained or thrive.  Love as a Positive Primary can be very spiritual; it is a natural part of this type to be affectionate and seek out others who enjoy receiving and giving this energy.

As a Negative Primary, these people can be overcome by jealousy and possessiveness.  They may be envious of others who receive or give affection or displays of love.  Some people who use Love as a Negative Primary force do not let other people find fulfillment in romantic situations:  a parent or partner who deliberately uses control of Love is such a person.

Money as a Positive Primary can be seen through people who are resourceful, inventive, generous, and philanthropic; they are willing to share with others who are in need.  Possessions and property are not theirs exclusively; they are aware of being supportive and encouraging in motivating others to reach their goals or just keep trying and not quit.  Professor Muhammad Yunus and his efforts to provide micro-loans to women who needed financial assistance to break the cycle of poverty is one example.  This is more than just giving to charities too:  this is realizing that Manifestation is a gift that everyone can create and use.  

Something  as simple as the "pay it forward" method of giving to someone who needs assistance and then letting them extend the same opportunity to someone else in need would be such a method.  The Native American tradition of potlatch is an example:  The potlatch is a festival or ceremony  practiced among Indigenous peoples of the Pacific Northwest Coast. At these gatherings a family or hereditary leader hosts guests in their family's house and holds a feast for their guests. The main purpose of the potlatch is the re-distribution and reciprocity of wealth.

Different events take place during a potlatch, like either singing and dances, sometimes with masks or regalia, such as Chilkat blankets, the barter of wealth through gifts, such as dried foods, sugar, flour, or other material things, and sometimes money. For many potlatches, spiritual ceremonies take place for different occasions. This is either through material wealth such as foods and goods or non-material things such as songs and dances. 

As a Negative Primary, Money can be a crippling need for wealth at the cost of others' lives:  slavery is one example.  Greed, miserliness, and the abuse of others at any price is another.  The monetary system in general (not barter) has many examples of how financial means can become an abusive method of controlling people.

Power as a Positive Primary brings out the best in creative visualization and faith in one's values if they are used to help and assist others and life in general.  This is the realm of believing in one's goals, as well as helping others to reach theirs.  It is more than physical strength; this is spiritual strength and empowerment, and the purpose of having a dream to pursue.  Some people go into various methods of Life Coaching, including sports, in order to help others fulfill their destinies.  The late college basketball coach, John Wooden of UCLA, is a great example.  Jaime Escalante, the high school math teacher who encouraged his students to break free of the poverty mentality of their East Los Angeles upbringing and go on to college, is another.  

As a Negative Primary, Power can certainly be seen as a control factor.  The use and abuse of Love, Money, and Fear to frighten and weaken others can be seen throughout the history of Mankind through the works of literature and other means of expressing and recording the stories of people and their efforts.  Domination, tyranny, and competitiveness that overwhelms others at the price of their freedom (again, slavery and conquest being two examples) finds justification in the eyes and minds of people who believe that "Might Makes Right."

Fear as a Positive Primary is often misunderstood as a weakness, but it has a proper place.  Caution, security, and deliberate, proper planning are excellent ways of being sure and confident of one's plans or position in life.  Such people are often slow to respond, but are determined and successful.  I would place investor Warren Buffet here because of the rules he follows regarding his strategies about money:  don't lose it, and don't take unnecessary risks.

As a Negative Primary, Fear is used by people who are afraid; the word "afraid" itself often appears in their language.  They can be intimidated easily and reduced to positions of self-doubt and worry.  I consider such people to "drive with one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake"; they often are hesitant to take control of opportunities for themselves, and can be overwhelmed by emotional factors and insecurities.  Death as a topic and the fear of the unknown after death is another part of a Fear-based Negative Primary; it has been used for centuries as a means of controlling people's values and resources. Rejection and struggles with society can also be a Fear-factor. I realize after 65 years of life that I'm on the autism spectrum as a high-functioning adult; yet I still struggle to overcome matters when dealing with the public-at-large and in personal encounters.

I personally respond to Love and Power--and to my dismay, Fear. A lifetime of loss has left a mark on me.  I know I'm someone who has sought Love throughout my life; it's brought me many broken hearts and much growth.  I also have issues with Power; I realize that my inferiority complex as a child was the result of being too smart and unable to find a comfortable place with my family's position (they were very motivated by Power and Money).  I never related well to Money; it's a false entity to me, and one that has been used for centuries to control and manipulate people. I can be very brave, but Fear still sounds like a plucked bowstring in my soul that leaves a note I feel with anguish. Such is Life, even though I am grateful for the challenges I've faced because it's brought me Wisdom.