Public speaking isn't freaking...if you learn to speak!

Let's talk about your greatest fear. No, not spiders, No, not heights. No, not the number 13--or Friday the 13th.

I mean public speaking. Making a speech in front of an audience. And for some folks, they would rather--sorry to be so frank--die and go right to Heaven rather than make a speech in front of all those people.

St. Peter: "What are you doing here now?" 

You: "I had to make a speech." 

St. Peter: "I don't understand. But you're not due here for another 47 years!" 

You: "I don't care. I couldn't take the thought of all those eyes on me. STARING...WATCHING...and I can't speak in front of people. I'd rather die. So there. YOU go and make the speech for me!"

From my view as a college instructor and sales and marketing rep...some students would rather glue their butt to the chair before they would come up to the front of the class to speak about an assignment, let alone try public speaking.

I was that person for years.

I would sit in the back of the class.

In the next classroom.

In the next building.

In the next school available.

In the next town.

In the next state.

And that chair? I wasn't getting out of it to come to the front of the class. It WAS part of my body: I was born with that chair attached to my butt. And when I got married, it was my bride, me, and that chair.

'Cause there was NO WAY that I was going up in front of the class--or ANY audience--without that chair as a life-support/form of safety against public speaking fears. As long as I was in that chair, I was safe.

Well, they're not alone--but this is an important part of college--and life:  SOMEONE wants to hear what you think and know--and speaking in public about it can be one of the most empowering things you can do (without the chair glued to your behind).  I know:  I used to have raging stage fright--I was just terrified of speaking in front of a crowd, let alone the classroom.  Naturally, this doesn't go over well with anyone who has plans to be a teacher!

The good news (yes, that's right) is that many colleges and schools require public speaking; at least one class on your transcript is expected.  And it's not as hard as you think; in fact, learning to overcome the fear of speaking can be very useful.  

("How?!") Well, for one, it shows a potential employer that you have learned to master a difficult challenge that you refused to let overwhelm you--and that you've made a weakness into a strength.)

Second, it's not that bad--in fact, most of the time in school, the audience you're addressing are your own classmates.  They're not any more anxious to do it and are probably just as nervous (unless they're in a debate team program).  If you want to be involved in politics, law, or any field where sharing of information is concerned--then learn to speak in public and don't let it scare you.  

Much of the same rules about a thesis apply to public speaking:  you have to know what makes your idea important and why it's valuable to your audience.  You have to prepare good notes in some manner:  index cards are useful.  The ideas you speak about should be direct and to the point.  And your presence as a person of importance is supported by the fact that you've done research on the subject.

I found the chance to do public speaking to be a career-changing moment for me when I gave a speech at my step-father's retirement party at a plush resort dinner.  There were men in tuxedos and women in fine evening dresses.  What I did was to try and pattern my speech by watching someone on TV whom I liked:  a famous comedian, and the way he timed comments after laughter.  

Did it work? The audience HOWLED with glee at my comments--but I knew my topic: a man (my father) who was known for his meticulous attention to details and orderliness. So did his team and staff associates. He was FAMOUS for following routines for successful business goals. So were the people who followed his methods into their own successful careers and advancements. 

I simply used a story about him that brought this to a funny ending. And then I asked the audience members if they had found themselves in a similar situation with him. My family was astonished at how well I did--and I made sure that I had prepared for this event.  It gave me great momentum toward my career in education and sales--and it truly gave me a new sense of achievement. It was a golden ticket moment for me--and I've been able to do public speaking ever since.

"Thinking outside the box for impromptu public speaking"

I've mentioned in another post about "Fluid Learning," which is what I call using both left-and-right-side halves of our brain to "think outside the box" when it comes to creativity, ideas, or general brainstorming. And I want to assure you that it is just as much of a challenge for me that I constantly work on improving because I have a learning-processing disorder and ADD. 

Let's look at an example of how to handle that event that so many people dread: How to do impromptu [on-the-spot] public speaking. And most times, this happens at an event where there's a microphone and a large audience who is celebrating something (or someone), and YOU are called up to front-and-center to say a few words. Here's a sure-fire thing to try that may help you come out with smiles, cheers, and applause.

Has this happened to me? Yes, at a higher education setting--in China, at a science university, and I was a guest of a Ph.D. candidate. (I can't speak Chinese and I don't know about the complexities of animal genetics!) And I was totally taken by surprise. My audience was learning English as a secondary language, and theirs is known for its complexity. Yet I stood before young men and women who not only had mastered their own language demands, but they were anxiously and eagerly working on their English skills. They were the ones who could have taught me more about speaking my own language. And I was proud of them and honored to be in their presence. And I was thankful for the chance to share my insights and reflections on the same path as they were now: learning to speak English.

Yes, perhaps you’re at a dinner or some kind of award ceremony, and the host or sponsors have just mentioned your name. And then they call you up to the podium to share a few words of wisdom, inspiration, humor, or whatever works. Light ‘em up, they say. And you smile (and shiver inside because you’re not ready for this sudden demand for communication and delivery). 

But yes, I assure you it’s very easy. Just follow these two ideas and watch yourself receive a thunderous round of applause and all the trimmings. All you have to say is this:

"I am Learning to Speak English (Again)"

 “Upon standing here in front of this wonderful audience, I am reminded that I am learning to speak English again.” And then watch the stares of amazement because most of the audience knows English is your native language—and they don’t understand what you meant with that statement.

(But instead, you’re trying to say):

 “I am learning to speak slowly, carefully, with deliberation and intention, and think of what is important while I am up here. I am learning once again to deliver my thoughts with reflection, contemplation, and appreciation for you, my audience. I am learning to share how I found the courage and to my surprise, the enjoyment of speaking in front of a crowd. 

"I am learning to speak English with a new view of vocabulary, and along with that, the ways of showing my appreciation for the opportunity to practice it once again. I am learning to speak with determination, deliberation, and endurance."

"I am learning to speak with determination: the choice to be more assured of my abilities to communicate and learn from them. I am learning to speak with deliberation: to speak more clearly, slowly, and with confidence, especially in a public venue. And I am learning to speak with endurance: to pace my way of speaking so that it is with clarity, focus, and projection to an eager audience. And I want to encourage you to feel the same way when your turn comes, and I hope it will be rewarding and fulfilling as you find you too are learning how to be comfortable, assured, and thankful for the ability to speak English so well. Thank you for this time before you. I am honored by your presence."

(If you don't get a standing ovation, I personally vow to wash the dishes at the facility hosting the presentation. I stand by my methods! LOL)

Then you get to return to your chair, have a sip of wine, and beam with "thank goodness that's over!"

(BTW: "Determination, perseverance, and endurance" should be your go-to phrases when someone asks "tell me about yourself" in any interview because it presents you as a force of intelligence, willingness to go onward, and motivation.)

Keep Trying and Go for Gold

Believing in your goals can be a challenge--and the sweetest accomplishment when it finally comes true. This is part of a speech I took from the internet which my Chinese Speaking & Listening freshman classes were encouraged to do as an assignment. They were so afraid of not pronouncing words correctly and embarrassing themselves--and I told them they could already speak one of the world's hardest languages. Many found true courage and accomplishment in standing before their peers and sharing these thoughts. I hope you find the same in turn. Again, in a prior post, I admit to anyone: I once had terrible stage fright. And now I thoroughly enjoy public speaking. I kept trying--and found it worked!

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Three Feet From Gold: Keep Trying!

You have to have passion, talent, take action, associate with others, and keep your faith in your dreams. Chances are you have found something that works for you. I have realized that when people find what is important to them, then that’s where things move. If you are following someone else’s dream, chances are you will fall short. If you follow someone else’s passion, chances are it’s not yours, so you will give up. It’s the people that find their own success equation and do it all out: those are the people that truly live a life of purpose.

Three Feet from Gold

The story idea is about R. U. Darby, the gold miner who gave up three feet away from the largest strike in history. (It may or may not be true—but it’s the idea that counts here.) It reminded me that most people quit when things start getting tough. So I went on this mission to meet amazing people, and the very first person was a guy named Dave Liniger. People don’t know his name, but you might know his business. I asked Dave if he wanted to quit when he was getting started in real estate back in 1970, and he said every day.

He said it was so bad for two years that every phone call that came in was from a bill collector. The third year it got so bad he was sent to jail and called a fraud and a liar. I asked him what he did. He said he took his attitude from trying to prove everyone else wrong and do something more important just to prove he was right. He called the bill collectors back and told them he didn’t have all the money, but he had $50. He sent it to them with a promise that he wasn’t going to quit and asked them to not give up on him. He called every bill collector. In the fourth year someone believed in him and, bought the first business. Now that’s called RE/MAX Real Estate Corporation. It is the largest company in the U.S. now for the sale of homes and land.

 The moral is how many times have we or someone we know given up right before the miracle happens. I went and met with the president of NASCAR (National Association of Race Car Drivers) and also Mrs. Fields Cookies, and I asked them all how they avoided from keeping themselves from talking themselves out of the dream. One of the greatest wisdoms came from a guy name John Schwarz, who invented String Theory in physics. For 10 years, everyone said he was crazy and out of his mind, but he figured it out. When I asked him why he didn’t quit when everyone else thought he was crazy, he said it’s because he knew he was right. He said the secret of success is to never let another person talk you out of your dream.

 He said that if you want to be successful, successful people seek counsel and failures listen to opinions. Opinion is based on ignorance, lack of knowledge, and inexperience. Counsel is based on wisdom, knowledge, and mentorship. John Schwarz said if we would spend our daily lives only seeking counsel and ignoring people’s opinion, that’s the day your life would change.

The whole idea of writing this book was to help everyday people put themselves in this circumstance. When you’re flipping through the pages, you realize you are not alone. Each and every person we talk to, you see yourself in their circumstance, saying, if they did it, you can too.