"I Want to Push a Tractor," she said

 I Want to Push a Chicken Tractor,

(from my book, "The Surprised Cow...")

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        (My then-wife and I lived on a mini-farm in Boaz, Alabama for two+ years. We raised chickens for eggs and food. During that time, this conversation between us took place: She’s ‘C’ and I’m ‘M’. It was the City Boy and the Country Girl.)

 

        When she first told me she wanted a tractor, I was a bit taken back. We only had a 3-acre pasture, and it wasn’t for growing anything; rather, it was for some large animals if we had them—which we later did, with llama and some horses. But it was the dialogue that followed which had me floored: She wanted a tractor. And she said she wanted to push it!

 

        She was tall but not obviously that strong, I thought. And besides: what was a chicken tractor? It was when she told me why she wanted it—and what she was going to do—that had me totally bewildered. “I want to put the chickens in the tractor. And then I’ll push it around.” I thought, “She can push a tractor? By herself? What superwoman strength does she have?!”

 

C: "But I want a tractor for the chickens."

M: "A what? A tractor?"

C: "Yes, a chicken tractor."

M: "What do the chickens do: operate it and plow the field?"

C: "No, they go inside of it."

M: (Desperately) “Are these mechanical chickens or something?"

C: "No, I can move them around the back yard."

M: "You can drive a tractor?"

C: "No, I can push it. It has handles.”

M: (Incredulously):

“YOU CAN PUSH A TRACTOR??!

BY ITS HANDLES??!!”

C: “You don't understand. It's a box, with wire around it, and handles.

I can keep the chickens inside.

I can move it.”

M: "But it doesn't do anything else."

C: "That's right."

M: "It's just a box."

C: "Yes. With wire."

(That part made sense at last, but she really had me cooped up there for a minute.)

(Know what's REALLY strange? I don't know that woman in the picture, but I can sure tell those are Alabama pecan trees. And that SURE looks like it could have been my home.)